by Regine Velasquez

Pagmasdan ang ulan unti-unting pumapatak
Sa mga halama’t mga bulaklak
Pagmasdan ang dilim unti-unting bumabalot
Sa buong paligid tuwing umuulan

Kasabay ng ulan bumubuhos ang iyong ganda
Kasabay ng hanging kumakanta
Maaari bang huwag ka nang
Sa piling ko’y lumisan pa
Hanggang ang hangi’t ula’y tumila na

Buhos na ulan aking mundo’y lunuring tuluyan
Tulad ng pag-agos mo
Di mapipigil ang puso kong nagliliyab
Pag-ibig ko’y umaapaw
Damdamin ko’y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka

Pagmasdan ang ulan unti-unting tumitila
Ikaw ri’y magpapaalam na
Maaari bang minsan pa
Mahagkan ka’t maiduyan pa
Sa tubig at ulan lamang ang saksi

Minsan pa ulan bumuhos ka
Huwag nang tumigil pa
Hatid mo ma’y bagyo
Dalangin ito ng puso kong sumasamo
Pag-ibig ko’y umaapaw
Damdamin ko’y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka

——————–

I found this version of the song with guitars only by Nel Pascual. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing his talent with you… thanks Nel!

Anyway, this song is perfect for today… it’s raining! Hope I could still jog though. I love rain! But I hate umbrellas! I’d rather get wet and go home drenched than bring an umbrella. I really don’t know why… maybe because I’m too lazy. Rain actually brings back a lot of good memories.

There were a couple of times when it started raining and CO, AA and I ran to the court in our village and bathe in the rain and played like kids. It was fun! We ran around the court, singing and jumping on puddles. People from the houses around the court were staring at us but we didn’t mind them and just thought they’re only jealous cause they didn’t have the guts to do what we did. Haha! When we got home, we all took a bath together on our veranda because we couldn’t go inside the house because we were dripping wet.

And here’s another rain story… there was this one time, we climbed Mt. Tikbalang in Batangas for our org’s acquaintance trip. We started the climb at night (it was an easy climb, only 40 minutes or less) and it started raining. When it was time for the socials already, we had this game called moonshine. The idea of the game was to let the moon shine on our body… no cameras and flashlights allowed… just the moon and us. Those of us who joined were asked to form a circle and to face outside the circle. Then we were asked to remove our clothes (but not our underclothes) and to face inside the circle in the count of three. When we were already facing inside the circle, people started laughing. So I looked around and then found out why… QS (the other love of my life) wasn’t wearing anything! We were just supposed to take off our shirt and shorts but not our undies! Haha! Turned out, he took of his undies after pitching the tent because he was drenched from the rain. Hahaha! And then he went in the middle of the circle and started dancing and swaying his shorts in the air. Of course he was covering his thingy with his other hand. Haha! It was so funny and he was such a good sport!

Popularity: 8% [?]

Tags: Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling Ka

Aggie will be doing a tag to post pictures of yourself while growing up, 5 years increment. I started mine with 1981 when I was 5 years old. It was fun… seeing how I evolved.

The 1981 photo was the one that AA was staring at because he said we looked so much alike when we were kids. I was a very shy kid and most of my photos has that shy look.

The 1986 and 1991 photos were taken with our pet poodle Macho.

The 1996 and 2001 photos… well, it was hard to find a solo picture of myself. I used to hate solo pictures.

2006… can you see my double chin? Gross isn’t it?! Haha! A little of that is gone already.

I’m tagging anyone who wants to see how you’ve evolved! I’ll edit this later to add Aggie’s tag link.

Popularity: 29% [?]

tell you my weight? I don’t think so! Haha! But I can tell you how much weight I’ve lost so far… 20 lbs!!! That’s sooooooooo much for me and I’ve never lost that much weight in my entire life! I’m so happy!!! I just have to continue my exercises and be consistent. Tamad ako eh!

I’m actually pondering where to jog. I could jog in our village but what don’t like about it is it’s hilly and there are hundreds of humps… it’s just when you’re jogging downhill and then there’s a big hump ahead of you. It feels like some kind of obstacle course. Haha! I really wanted to jog in UP. My dilemma is, I’m a night person and I find it hard to wake up very early in the morning to jog. And I don’t want to jog in UP at night because a couple of my friends had been mugged there before. Scary! I could also go jogging in QC Circle but I don’t like too much pollution. Thankfully, yesterday my nephew and I walked around our next door village. I think I could jog there. Their main road is long and wide and straight (not hilly like ours) and there are no stray dogs. Haha! I might try jogging there tonight… who knows, maybe I’ll even see Juday peeking outside their house. Haha! What I’d really to swim! But there’s no pool that’s near my place. There’s actually one in our next door village but their pool is just too small for me. It’s like just a couple of strokes and you’re already on the other end. Before I used to go to Lagro just so I could swim. And the owner was really nice, he would watch me give me some tips and correct what I was doing wrong. He’s a competitive swimming instructor. But I don’t go there anymore because it’s too far, about 30 minutes bus ride when the traffic is light. Hay! I wish our village would build a pool soon.

Right now I’m also trying to get organized. I think I need a small white board near the computer so I could keep track of all the things that I need to do. Hmmmm. I think I need to go to the bookstore later. TTFN!

Popularity: 47% [?]

Got this tag from Pinky. Thanks!

Here are the simple rules: Link to the person that tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share six unimportant things/habits/quirks about your self. Tag six (6) random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving comments in their blog. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

1. My most favorite phrase when I’m inis or pikon “Bahala ka buong buhay mo!” Another one is for example you asked me to do something, I end it with “mag-isa mo!” e.g. “Mag birdwatching ka mag-isa mo!” or “Umalis ka mag-isa mo!” And sometimes when somebody asks me a pang-asar question, before I answer I take a deep breath and roll my eyes while exhaling hard.

2. I have about 10 jeans, 5 capri pants, a couple dozen of shirts that I haven’t worn yet. I didn’t buy these, most of the jeans were bought by my dad and the capris by my mom and the shirts were pasalubongs from the US of A. I like old clothes and I like my jeans worn. I don’t like newly washed jeans… so uncomfy for me. I remember in college, I have like about 4 or 5 used jeans hung at the back of my door. I use my jeans about three times before washing it, so those jeans go on rotation before going to the washer.

3. I like matching kubyertos when eating. As in partners dapat ang spoon and fork. Of course, that’s only when I’m home. Ayoko naman mag-inarte sa ibang bahay. Bad yon! Haha! When I’m at home, I couldn’t eat when my kubyertos are not partners… I have to ask the maid to change it.

4. I’m organized but makalat. Pwede ba yon? Haha! I want my stuff to be organized, too organized maybe, that’s why most of the time I don’t know where to begin oraganizing it. And my things end up cluttered on the floor in my room.

5. I love accesorizing… but unlike other girls, I don’t like girly stuff like pearls or gold or white gold jewelries. I like jewelries too but I like them plain. What I like more are unique bracelets, bangles, friendship bracelets made of beads, leather, metals, natural materials, etc (see the photo below). I started wearing anklets way back 1996 and used to wear about 3 or more. I sometimes wear only one piece of earring on my left ear. It’s a silver peace sign earring. And I sometimes wear a toering.

6. I’d love to have dreadlocks! And right now I’m so tempted to shave my head or have my hair cut really short.

I’m tagging my twitter friends

Popularity: 65% [?]

1. When was the last time you kissed someone? Who was it?
Last night. My niece and nephew.

2. Last time you went to the movies? What movie?
Last movie I saw in a theater was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

2. Do you turn off your cellphone/s when you’re in a movie house?
No. My phone is always on silent mode even when I’m not in a house.

3. Do you cursed?
Yes but only when I’m drunk. That’s actually one way to tell if I’m drunk already.

4. Do you often have nightmares?
Sometimes.

5. Who’s your crush?
Okay. Next question please…

6. Do you drive? When’s your license expires?
I don’t drive and I don’t have a license.

7. Are you afraid of dying? Why and Why not?
I always think I’m not afraid of dying. But there’s this one when I was about to sleep and everything went dead silent. Everything was pitch dark and my mind was so blank. I couldm’t move and I couldn’t feel the weight of my body. I couldn’t even feel or hear my heartbeat. It went on for a few seconds but it felt like an hour. Then when everything went back to normal, the first thing that I thought of was the question is that how it feels like when you’re dead.

8. Do you like to party? Why or Why not?
Not party as in Paaar-teh! Haha! But I like hanging out with friends, you know, while talking over a couple bottles of beer and few sticks of cigs. Haha! Couple bottles daw o, tsaka few sticks of cigs. Hahaha!

9. Last time you said “I love you’? To whom?
The other day to my niece and nephew.

10. Last time you exercised? Gym or house?
Last week. Taebo here in my room. I might go jogging tonight or tomorrow morning, I just need batteries for my discman.

Thanks again Yen! Come join us… just click on the small logo at the beginning of this post.

Popularity: 52% [?]

Yes, I’m scatter-brained these past few days. Seems like I want to do lots of things but never get to finish anything I’ve started. Thanks to Diane’s and Aggie’s tags, I’ll try to get organize this week, and maybe next and next… LOL! Here’s my “to do” list for this week…

I’m tagging  Dauphine, Juliana, Chinois, and all those who wants to try to get organized…

Popularity: 55% [?]

from the movie Enchanted

Giselle: When you meet the someone who was meant for you
Before two can become one there is something we must do
Animal: Do you pull each others tails?
Animal: Do you feed each other seeds?
Giselle: No, there is something sweeter everybody needs
I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss
And a prince I’m hoping comes with this
That’s what brings everaftering so happy
And that’s the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch
So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love’s kiss

Giselle: aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa
Animals: aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa

Animals: Shes been dreaming of a true love’s kiss
And a prince she’s hoping comes with this
That’s what brings everaftering so happy
And that’s the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch

Giselle: So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love’s kiss

Edward: You’re the fairest maid I’ve ever met
You were made…
Giselle: …to finish your duet
Giselle and Edward: And in years to come we’ll reminisce
Edward: How we came to love
Giselle: And grow and grow love
Everyone: Since first we knew love through true love’s kiss

——————–

I watched Enchanted last night to keep my mind from wandering to thoughts about you know who… I thought I’d watch a movie that wouldn’t remind me of him or something that I couldn’t relate to him or something that we didn’t watch together. I thought this movie would keep me occupied for at least two hours and that I’d just sleep without thinking anymore when it’s finish. Boy, was I wrong! The movie made me cry… twice. That was so lame of me. Maybe my true love’s kiss would just remain a dream.

Popularity: 63% [?]

Tags: Enchanted, True Love's Kiss

So, how am I doing from my withdrawal from cigs, AA, and alcohol? I’m doing great!!! I’m not actually withdrawing from alcohol, but it seemed like I consumed a lot of beer these past couple of months, more than I did in the past couple of years. Yeah, terrible isn’t it? I really am very tempted to smoke, especially the day that I quit, but so far so good. And I’m really determined not to smoke, after all it is for my niece. And with regards to AA, I’ve managed to stay away and not see him for a week now… managed not to chat with him in YM for a couple of days… who knows how long this will last? I’m not totally avoiding him, I just want to keep a little distance as not to get attached to him again. Yep, again!

So anyway, (inter)National Scrapbook Day is almost over… and another withdrawal that I did was shopping! I was really tempted to shop but couldn’t do anything because I already emptied my PayPal prior to NSD. Good for me because if not then my PP would be burning a hole right now. I’ve managed to win 3 contest already and I’m so happy. Feels like I also did some shopping! Yay!

A different story that’s not in a any way related to withdrawal… I was so bored yesterday afternoon so I went downstairs to look at what’s for merienda. Our househelp was cooking turon and I heard my dad was requesting for pansit. So, since I was really bored, I cooked the pansit. It was my first time to cook pansit and I asked our househelp to guide me. My nephew and I argued who’s going to cook it. I think he was also bored. LOL! And of course, I won! It’s easy lang pala to cook pansit bihon. And it tasted okay naman. Haha!

Popularity: 54% [?]

Umiiyak ang aking pusong nagdurusa
Ngunit ayokong may makakita
Kahit anong sakit ang aking naranasan
Yan ay ayokong kanyang malaman

 Mga araw na nagdaan, kailanma’y hindi malilimutan
Kay tamis na raw ng pagmamahalan
Ang akala ko’y walang hangganan

 Ang pag-ibig kong ito
Luha ang tanging nakamit buhat sa’yo
Kaya’t sa Maykapal tuwina’y dalangin ko
Sana’y kapalaran ko ay magbago

Ang tema ngayong linggong ito ay saktong-sakto sa kalagayan ng aking puso. Kung wala kang magawa at gusto mong malaman kung baket ay magbasa-basa lang nitong blag ko at malalaman mo din ang dahilan. Umpisahan mo noong Marso 17, dun sa post na ang titulo ay Insensitive. Kung gusto mo naman shortcut ay basahin ang aking post na Harsh. Sinabi ko nga sa aking kaibigan na tulungan akong mawala ang aking nararamdaman at may nahanap siyang isang artikulo kung saan ay isinasaad kung ano ang mga dapat gawin upang mawala ang iyong nararamdamang pag-ibig para sa isang tao. At ito ang nakalahad doon sa artikulo na iyon (pasensiya na po at medyo tamad na kong isalin ito sa tagalog pero ang mga komento ko po, na naka-bold, sa bawat isang hakbang ay tagalog)

1. Realize you are worth someone who loves you. You are worth someone who thinks you are beautiful and awesome. It’s always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody’s ego boost. Dito pa lang ay mahirap ng gawin para sa akin dahil ito lamang ang naiiisip kong dahilan kung baket hindi niya ako magustuhan. Napaka-layo ng hitsura ko sa kanyang huwarang babae. Ang gusto niya ay maganda at seksi, ako ay malusog at pa-kyut.

2. See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it’ll be to get on with your life. It’s completely possible that you’re idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you — because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them. Okay sana itong hakbang na ito. Ang pagkakamali ko lang din ay natutunan ko na siyang tanggapin kung ano man ang pagkatao niya at kasama na doon ay kanyang mga maling nagagawa.

3. Distance yourself. You won’t want to, but staying close to someone you want but can’t have just isn’t healthy. Don’t tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don’t call them, don’t go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself. Dito lang yata ako tumugma. Gusto ko munang magpakalayo sa kanya. Ngunit ayaw naman ng mga kaibigan namin. At matapos ang mga nangyari ay kinukulit pa din naman niya kong magsasama. Napapaisip din ako dahil ayoko din namang mawala siya sa akin at kung gagawin ko ito ay maaring tuluyan na din siyang umiwas sa kin. Ano ba talaga ang gagawin ko?

4. Date. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet people that you like. Don’t settle for whomever asks you out, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don’t love back! Approach people, try new things. You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won’t think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there’s someone better out there. Go find him or her! Eto pa! Wala nga akong kilala na pedeng i-date eh. Baka meron dyang gustong mag-prisinta? O di kaya baka may kakilala kayong gusto niyong ipakilala sa akin, sabihan niyo lang ako! ;D

5. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn’t see you for the great person you are! There are those out there who will. Eto unti-unti ko nang ginagawa, ang mag-ehersisyo at kumain ng wasto. Papagurin ko na lang ang sarili ko sa pag-eehersisyo. At sabi nga nila na pag nag-ehersisyo ka ay magre-release ng endorphins ang iyong katawan, at ang endorphins ay kilala na nagpapabawas ng sakit at emosyon.

6. Try behavioral conditioning similar to a Pavlov’s dog’s response. Every time you obsess over this person try thinking about something repulsive. Pretty soon, you will start associating this person with repulsion, so that eventually the person’s name will invoke disgust. Ayoko namang maging masama ang mga maalala ko tuwing maiisip ko siya. Ewan ko ba. Siguro nga talagang minahal ko siya at mahal ko pa din siya bilang kaibigan. Naging mabuti naman siyang kaibigan sa akin kaya hindi ko din siguro ito magawa.

Naisip ko tuloy, kung nasa akin nga talaga ang mga katangian na mga sinasabi niya, baket kaya hindi pa niya ko matutunan mahalin? Kaya nga hindi ko din maiwasan na pagdudahan kung totoo nga ba ang kanyang mga sinabi, o bola nga lang talaga lahat. Alam ko, I should give him the benefit of the doubt, gaya nga ng sinasabi ni CO. Nung sinabi niyang ayaw niyang mawala ako sa kanya, di ba niya naisip na sa sandaling magkaroon siya ng gelpren ulet o magdesisyon na gusto na nyang manahimik at magpakasal, hindi ba niya naisip na mawawala ulit ako sa kanya at maaring pangmatagalan na talaga? Kilala niya na ko, at alam niya na ang ugali kong takasan ang mga bagay-bagay. Kung matalino nga siyang tao eh dapat naisip niya yon. At yung sinasabi niyang mabigat niyang pakiramdam na hindi niya maintindihan pag naiisip niya na mawawala ako sa kanya… gusto kong alamin niya at isiping mabuti kung ano ba talaga itong pakiramdam na ito. Hindi namin kami super close na magkaibigan para maramdaman niya ito kung sakali mang kami’y magkakalayo.

Popularity: 100% [?]

Last night was one of the toughest nights I had to face. Could you imagine, me abstaining from AA, yosi and alcohol all at the same time?

April 30

AA: home alone kami magkakapatid hehe
AA: nag out of town nanay at tatay ko hehe
AA: inum tayo dito?
B: ngayon?
B: late na eh
AA: bukas pede pa din
AA: sa fri me laro na ko
AA: hehe
B: invite ka ng iba pa
AA: mga tao dito
B: sige bahala na
AA: hindi ko pede sa weekend eh
AA: fri-sun laro ko
B: ok
B: pag natapos ko yung mga blogging tasks ko siguro
AA: ayos
B: si DocMR pala? diba ngayon siya uwi? or tomorrow?
AA: ngayon ata. txt mo
AA: bka makasabay ko pala tom sa gym yun
B: pass na lang pala ko sa inom
AA: baket?
B: ala lang
AA: hybernate?
B: ndi naman
AA: ah oki
B: gusto ko lang mag pass
AA: okidoki
B: next time na lang. thanks for inviting me though
AA: no problemo

It was hard turning him down. I felt like how I felt when CO and I had a fight and he asked me to dinner and I was quiet the whole time and just watched him eat and listened to his apologies. It broke my heart to see CO so sorry. And now it’s breaking my heart, turning AA down. Parang nakukunsensiya ko na hindi naman dapat. Parang naaawa din ako when it should be the other way around. He should be feeling these things towards me and not vice versa.

May 1

CO: makipag-inuman ka na!
B: mamaya
CO: sama ka?
B: sabi ko tanungin niya ko ulet today eh. ano, punta ko don?
CO: oo, inuman LANG naman e. take note on the emphasis.
B: inuman lang talaga
CO: alam mo ba, muntik na akong ako magsabi sa kanya nung sinabi mo the other day?
B: eh bat di mo sinabi?
CO: hahaha. kasi sabi ko sa kanya, AA wag mong ipahalata na magkausap tayo. tapos sasabihin ko na dapat.
B: promise?
CO: pero sabi nya, ayaw nya nung situation… na hindi sasabihin sa yo na magkausap kami
CO: edi ayon, hindi na ako nagsalita. tapos buti na lang ikaw nagsabi, which should be the case
B: totoo yan?
CO: oo, no! bakit naman ako mag-iimbento?
CO: buti na lang talaga, hindi ko sinabi
B: wala lang. parati mo kong jino-joke eh. baket naman buti na lang?
CO: sasabihin ko lang naman sana, nababaliw na ulit si B sa yo and it’s driving her crazy
CO: itanong mo sa kanya
CO: e kasi dapat naman ikaw magsasabi non e, hehe
B: ano namang kaso kung mag-usap kayo at hindi niyo ipahalata sa kin?
CO: ewan ko
B: alam mo sometimes i don’t get him
CO: baka mahirapan syang mag-pretend na hindi kami magkausap, haha
CO: e bat invisible ka na ngayon?
B: wala lang. o ayan ndi na ko invisible
CO: iniisip mo ba kung pwede na lang sana syang lifetime crush pero hindi love?
B: baket may crush pa? dapat wala na talaga kahit ano
CO: e kung hindi mawala e, edi i-demote na lang to crush
B: hindi ko ma-gets minsan kung ano yung mga nagiging issues para sa kanya
CO: siguro nga, ang magiging testing nyan e pag nagkita kayo ulit
B: i don’t know lang how i would react pag nakita ko siya
B: tsaka isip ko lang din na baka parang sarcastic lang din yung pag-invite niya sa kin and he didn’t really mean it. yoko naman ng ganon
CO: sincere yon!
B: bat ba parati mong pinagtatanggol yon ha?
CO: hehehe. wawa naman kasi pag pinagtulungan natin
B: eh kung totoo naman na ganon eh, naawa ka pa din?
CO: o sige na nga, nanloloko lang yon!
B: yung totoo, ano sa tingin mo? baka mamaya tine-test niya lang ako
B: alam mo yon, tinitignan niya lang kung magha-hybernate ako
B: actually inisip ko din kung mag-hybernate na nga lang talaga eh
CO: next week na lang ikaw mag-hybernate
B: baket next week?
B: to give him the satisfaction?

Popularity: 50% [?]