by Buklod

Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon

Natatandaan mo pa ba
Nang tayong dalawa’y unang magkita
Panahon ng kamusmusan
Sa piling ng mga bulaklak at halaman
Doon tayo’y nagsimulang mangarap at tumula

Natatandaan mo pa ba
Inukit kong puso sa punong mangga
At ang inalay kong gumamela
Magkahawak-kamay sa dalampasigan
Malayang tulad ng mga ibon ang gunita ng ating kahapon

Ang mga puno’t halaman ay kabiyak ng ating gunita
Sa paglipas ng panahon bakit kailangan ding lumisan
Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon

Ngayong ikaw ay nagbalik
Katulad ko din ang yong pananabik
Makita ang dating kanlungan
Tahanan ng ating tula at pangarap
Ngayon ay naglaho, saan na napunta

Lumilipas ang panahon kabiyak ng ating gunita
Ang mga puno’t halaman bakit kailangang lumisan
Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon

——————–

This post is inspired by my friend Biggs’ post in multiply.

Like Biggs, I miss Anilao too… sooooooo much! My friends and I call it our kanlungan because that’s the song we’d almost always listen to when we go there. I’m not a windsurfer like most people who frequents the place but it is very dear to me. I first went there way back 1994 or 1995, for De La Salle Outdoor Club’s acquaintance party. Drop point namin on our way to Sombrero Island. Hindi pa yata member si AA ng Outdoor Club non. Went there siguro mga twice. And then when DA and OC and some of my high school friends got together in 1999, that’s where we would spend most of our weekends. It became our tambayan, our weekend getaway, and the people I met there became like my second family. We shared many experiences there and we’ve met different people from all walks of life, may bata, may matanda, singles, couples, families, and some became friends for keeps. I’d cherish the times that I’ve spent there for the rest of my life. Last time I went there was about two years ago, with my family and some relatives and never got the chance to go back. Baka hindi ko na din kilala yung ibang mga tao don.

I never got the chance also to go there with AA kse that time na parati akong pumupunta don, I was already “running away” from our barkada and already found my new set of friends. I say blame it all on CO. CO was the main reason why I ran away from our barkada. We had a huge fight and that gave me the chance to be with DA and OC.

DA and OC actually are not new friends that time. Matagal ko na din sila kilala, through Outdoor Club. It was one birthday party ang nagbigay sa min ng chance to be close. My barkada celebrated her birthday together with her sister, nagkataon na yung sister niya eh barkada naman nung older brother ni DA and andon din siya sa party. Then nagkita kami ulit when we were waiting to buy our Nokia phones. Mahirap pa dati bumili ng cellphone, you had to find pa a dealer. So we waited together, kasama na namin si OC and my other girl friends. And yun na, nagtuloy-tuloy na, parati na kaming nagmi-meet then we’d go on gimmicks then Anilao. We’d go to each other’s houses and on Friday nights punta na kaming Anilao and be back late Sunday night. We’d also see each other after office, have dinner or coffee or simply hang out. I use to hate cellphones that time but napilitan akong ibili ng parents ko because they almost never see me that time. Haha! Then naging officemates pa kami ni DA and OC non so as in everyday talaga magkakasama kami.

What makes these two guys different from AA and my other friends? They took care of us, as in really took care of us. We’re like one big family… OC is like our dad and DA is like our older brother. We’ve been through ups and downs and we’re always there for each other. We separated when most of them already went to the US and kami na mga naiwan dito hindi na masyadong nagme-meet. It’s like God gave us almost two years to be perfectly happy and then that’s it. But believe me, those couple of years are enough to last me a lifetime.

DA and OC are super gentlemen… as in they’d open doors for us, pampered us, kung pede lang they’d do everything for us na. Pag sakay sa car they’d open and close the door for us and sila pa naglalagay ng seatbelt. Haha! And they don’t drive too fast pag kasama kami. They don’t like makeups, nail polishes, at kung ano ano pang kakikayan, gusto nila simple lang. But of course hindi naman nila kami pinagbabawalan maging kikay. I became so dependent sa kanila that’s why din siguro nahirapan ako when they left for the US. Funny thing naman, when most of my friends are already in the States, dun naman bumalik si AA. Same thing din whenever CO and I have a fight, biglang naga-appear si AA. He’d contact me and we’d go out or pinupuntahan niya ko sa office or sa house. I don’t know kung sinasadya niya or nagkakataon lang. CO pala is our barkada (me and AA’s) and my guy best friend. That’s why AA includes him sa list na gusto niyang maging katulad when it comes to being close to me.

Siguro that’s what’s missing din between me and AA. Yes, we’ve known each other longer than how long I’ve known DA and OC. Pero mostly ng pinagsamahan namin ni AA kse good times lang talaga. I’ve been to lots of different places with him and our barkada more than I’ve been to with DA and OC pero iba talaga pa rin talaga. Quality over quantity nga talaga siguro. And big difference din nga why I can’t be that close to him is because I like him. I’m very cautious when I’m with him. What he wants is actually parang torture sa kin pero I’m really trying my best to be that kind of friend to him.

Going back to Anilao, I know that this is so selfish of me but I don’t think I’d want to share that place with my and AA’s barkada. Gusto ko yung memories ko of Anilao would be kami lang nila DA and OC, etc. Of course pedeng pumunta don si AA but not with our barkada talaga. Sama ko no? Sige pede na din pero minsan lang sila dapat pumunta don and not make it their tambayan like we did. Haha! Bad ko talaga no?

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Shet! My friend PS and I were supposed to attend a wedding at 1pm today. I fell asleep and just woke up and it’s already 12:30pm. I can’t even think and I’ve got a TERRIBLE headache. PS naman is down with a fever and he’s got a flight to catch at 4pm. PS and I are really bad indians. Hala!

So since I’m stuck here at home with my headache, I’ll update you guys na lang about last night… the much awaited sequel to the drunk tale. Haha! He woke up early today and slept on the floor… Tama ba naman yon? I wasn’t speaking to him when I woke up, and I could tell he was worried. He lay down beside me again after awhile and hugged me and tried talking to me to no avail. He kept asking me if I was angry. But I just covered my face with a blanket and didn’t answer. I sooooo much wanted to tell him na itigil na namin tong kalokohan na to, like I’ve told myself sooooo many times. I wanted to ask him what’s the point of us getting together eh we’ve already proven to CO what we’ve wanted to prove after that crazy weekend. So what else is the point? To drink? He’s got so many friends na na pwede niyang kainuman, he definitely doesn’t need another drinking buddy.

Of course I got drunk last night… 3 liters of Red Horse and 2 Happy Horses. We talked about lots of stuff, our families, jobs (as if I have one), and siempre hindi ko natanong yung mga gusto kong itanong, I guess I was too drunk to even think straight. I even asked about THE girlfriend. Like how she is na and why they don’t get together that much, etc, etc. Sagot niya “wala yon.” Sabi ko nga let her go na. Not for me ha but for the girl’s sake. I don’t like the way he treats her. We talked about our friend MB. He is AA’s best bud and he is the type of guy that loves to fool around and is such a big tease… pang-asar ba. Anyway, I noticed when we were in college that he didn’t teased me much, unlike he did our other friends, and he was always serious whenever he talked to me. AA explained that MB is nice to me because of him. Parang he’s kinda like protecting me. Seriously, AA is overprotective and I think he’s overreacting. I remember nakwento niya that he went out one time with our friend JR and JR was asking about me, parang nangangamusta lang. And ang sagot niya agad “Loko ka wag mong loloko-lokohin si B!” OA diba?

And I’ll spill the beans na here, wala nang hiya-hiya. I kissed him last night! Lots of times. Haha! I think yun yung pinag-awayan namin last night. I’ve got to understand daw that it’s hard for him, eh ako naman parang I’m thinking na hello? it’s just a kiss. It isn’t something we’ve never done before. Yup, our barkada actually calls us kissing friends. He thinks too much… diba parang dapat ako yon? Parang he’s scared pag ako na yung nag-initiate pero pag siya okay lang. Haaaaayyyy… life’s unfair! I’ll post again soon. I need to think muna… haha!

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AA and CO finally had a talk yesterday through YM. CO seriously doesn’t want AA and me being alone together for my own sake, or we could be alone together nga daw but without alcohol, or with alcohol but with a third wheel. But according to AA he’s bullheaded so I guess I’ll be seeing more of him in the next few days, or weeks, or months… let’s see kung hanggang kelan siya tatagal. Parang nakukunsensiya lang ako because pareho naman kaming may kasalanan but he’s taking all the blame. And I also feel guilty because of the girlfriend. We’re really not doing anything wrong (wala naman masyado, haha) but still, I feel like I’m taking him away from her, or his time for her at least.

And remember my drama queen post last night? Walang nangyari siempre. I felt okay na the moment I received his text message saying he was on his way na to my place from James’ place. I felt better when I saw him.

No drunk tales last night. He arrived at 1am already and he was drunk. I told him we’d just go to sleep and we did. We fought over one side of the bed pa and, of course, I won! He’d better let me kase kung hindi, iuumpog ko siya sa muscle ko. Haha! I had a hard time sleeping and it took me about two hours before I finally dozed off.

He was the first to wake up this morning and as always, he woke me up too. Then we watched Into The Wild. Actually siya lang nanood… I’ve watched that movie about a couple of times already and I read the book about three times. He woke me up lang everytime he has questions or comments about the movie. He’s like that… htat’s how comfortable he is with me. He doesn’t care what I’m doing basta mangungulit siya when he wants to.

Then we had breakfast with my dad and nephew and then we had a little talk then he went back to sleep again. I watched him sleep for a couple of hours… haaayyy, wish I could do that forever. Corny no? Haha! And now my bed and pillows smell like him. He smells nice… I love smelling him! When he woke up, we had lunch and then we ate ice cream and cake with my nephew in my room. Then we talked a little more… we reminisced about our college days and people we used to hang out with and all our kalokohans and funny moments before. Nakakatuwa! Then he went home around 2pm. He’d go to the gym first then go home and prepare for his interview tomorrow morning. He’ll be coming back tomorrow after his interview.

This morning when I woke up I realized that our friends definitely shouldn’t see us sleeping together or else they’ll find out for sure that there’s something going on between AA and me. May violent reactions kaya if they do find out? I really don’t care what they think but I wonder how they’ll react. We always sleep beside each other kase pag may mga sleepovers. And this time he always puts his arms around me na when we’re sleeping and he’d sometimes kiss me, unconsciously. Me din, the same, pero I don’t kiss him… pag laseng lang. Hahaha! Before kse that crazy weekend we don’t cuddle when we sleep.

He’s going to start working for a new company on Monday. And he promised he’d drop by ever now and then. I remember when I was still working for a magazine, our office was in Cubao then we tranferred to Libis. He’d drop by my office so we could have lunch together or he’d just hang out at my office. Then on Fridays we’d go out for a drink with our friend from college JR or he’d go with me when I go out with my officefriends. Parang that time pa lang pala he was trying his best na talaga to be close to me and I only realized this now.

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That’s me! As in super drama queen! AA told me he’d be here after lunch then around 2pm he sent me a message saying that he won’t be able to play basketball with my nephew anymore and that he’d go to the gym first before going here. Then around 7pm he sent me a message again asking me if I’d want to go with him in Congressional Rd cause he’s with his former officemate named James. So, I told him I’ll pass cause I’m not in the mood to go out. Then he asked me to wait for him na lang, konti lang daw iinumin niya. I replied na it’s okay if we don’t drink anymore tonight. He misunderstood my message and thought I didn’t want him to come over anymore. So I sent him a text message again explaining that’s not what I meant. I told him to just enjoy his time with his friend and that he didn’t have to leave there early because of me. Hindi na siya sumagot so I don’t know if he’s still coming over. Baka nainis. And if he still comes here then I’d just tell him we’ll to go sleep na lang. I don’t like lang kase na he’s doing things for me because he feels that he needs to. Because that’s what I feel he’s doing… I feel like I’m a special child who needs special attention. I want him to do things for me because he wants to and not because he needs to. He had other plans pala eh di sana sinabi na niya agad, madali naman akong kausap. Kapicon lang kase I’ve been waiting for him almost all afternoon. Tampo daw ba? Haaaay. I’m reacting like crazy and I’m not even his girlfriend. Major drama queen no?

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To my readers. Here’s the most recent photos of AA and me. Para naman hindi masyadong intriguing

These were taken using a webcam. We were chatting with CO that time.

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1. Have you ever had a summer romance? Care to share?
As in like a summer fling? None.

2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not literally love exactly but something to that effect… that’s how everything started with AA. The first time I saw him, I knew there was already something about him, not knowing that we’d end up to be blockmates in college and becoming barkadas.

3. ‘You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without.’ What do you think of this quote?
I agree! And I’d want to marry someone who can’t live without me too.

4. Where does true beauty lie? On the inside or on the outside?
Inside of course.

5. Did you ever had a crush on a classmate or teacher? Who was it?
Haha! Yep, I had a lot crushes among my classmates and one of them is AA!

6. Summer wear….shorts or capris?
Both!

7. Would you ride a roller coaster or sky dive?
Love rollercoasters and would love to try skydiving too.

8. Last stupid thing you have done?
Can’t elaborate but I did something really stupid two weekends ago.

9. Any summer plans? Trips, vacations and etc. Where?
No plans but I’d love to go to the beach!

10. In one word, define yourself!
Crazy! Haha!

Thanks for the questions Yen! If you want to participate, just click on the image above to go to Yen’s blog.

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Thanks Aggie for the tag.

1. Like Alpha and Aggie, my new hairdo. (Still have to post pics.)
2. We had a family talk that didn’t end in an argument.
3. Seeing AA again.
4. Being close to AA again.
5. Being invited to my former officemates’ wedding.
6. My new hard disk.
7. I lost a little weight.
8. PS’ text message.
9. My conversations with two of my best friends last week.
10. My clean room. (I’m FINALLY done cleaning!)

I’m tagging anyone who reads my blog

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I owe AA a favor the last time he came over. I didn’t do it because inaasar niya ko last time about me being more drunk than him. Haha! So he dropped by my house today for that favor and I did it already. And he’s still coming back again tomorrow for our original plan to meet… the him and me and 4 liters of Red Horse or so plan. Haha! He also promised my older nephew they’d play basketball tomorrow. Sweet no? Hahaha!

I finally got my haircut! It’s like Winona Ryder’s hair in the movie Reality Bites, only mine is shorter at the back. I really like how it turned out, especially since my hair is thin and it now has body. I’ll post pics soon, I haven’t fixed my webcam yet and I’m too lazy to get the camera. Haha!

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by Blur

Tender is the night lying by your side
Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much
Tender is the day the demons go away
Lord I need to find someone who can heal my mind

Come on, come on, come on, get through it
Come on, come on, come on, love’s the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on, get through it
Come on, come on, come on, love’s the greatest thing that we have
I’m waiting for that feeling, waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling to come
Oh my baby, oh my baby, oh why, oh my

Tender is the ghost, the ghost I love the most
Hiding from the sun, waiting for the night to come
Tender is my heart for screwing up my life
Lord I need to find someone who can heal my mind

Come on, come on, come on, get through it
Come on, come on, come on, love’s the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on, get through it
Come on, come on, come on, love’s the greatest thing that we have
I’m waiting for that feeling, waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling to come
Oh my baby, oh my baby, oh why, oh my
Oh my baby, oh my baby, oh why, oh my

Tender is the night lying by your side
Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much
Tender is my heart you know for screwing up my life
Oh lord I need to find someone who can heal my mind

Come on, come on, come on, get through it
Come on, come on, come on, love’s the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on, get through it
Come on, come on, come on, love’s the greatest thing that we have
I’m waiting for that feeling, waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling to come
Oh my baby, oh my baby, oh why, oh my
Oh my baby, oh my baby, oh why, oh my

——————–

ten·der adjective, -er, -est
1. easily moved to sympathy or compassion; kind: a tender heart.
2. affectionate or loving; sentimental or amatory: a tender glance.

Thanks to my friend and former officemate Paulo S. for acquainting me with this song. It’s been my favorite since the I first heard it in his car when we were on our way home from the company outing. I even made a CD with only this song, playing over and over and over again. I think this song perfectly describes my heart right from the very start of this all and it describes exactly how I am right now. Enjoy listening!

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Finally! I’ve upgraded my PC already! I added a hard disk, had a few technical problems but now everything’s now running smoothly, except I have to upgrade to a newer version of Windows. But it’s okay, at least all the hardwares are running na. I thought I was going crazy when the PC wouldn’t even go to the BIOS setting yesterday. Haaayyy…

Weekend was fine. I was waiting for AA to text me, yun pala naubusan ng load yung phone niya and yun sun # naman niya walang signal. He finally sent me a text message yesterday, apologizing. Honestly, he didn’t have to apologize, he’s not obliged naman to text me, but of course I’m still glad he did. And today he’s online very early in the morning, 6:30 am. He didn’t go to office kse magre-resign na siya. Haha! I really appreciate all his efforts and all the attention he’s giving me… means I really mean something to him. My only worry is I’m getting used to this and maybe I’ll go crazy na naman if it suddenly stops. Tomorrow, he has an interview near my place so he’ll be coming over after. And for sure we’re gonna drink again. Yes, it’s him and me again and a few bottles of Red Horse. I remember, I like the movie When A Man Loves A Woman and he likes Leaving Las Vegas. One of our friends told us one day that what if we ended together and we were both alcoholics, me like Meg Ryan and he like Nicholas cage, how are we gonna end up together? I can’t imagine either. Anyway, we’ll see what happens tomorrow. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata…

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