Aug 21 2008
Stand By Me
by Oasis
Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday
I’ve gotta lot of things to learn
Said I would and I’ll be leaving one day
Before my heart starts to burn
So what’s the matter with you?
Sing me something new
Don’t you know the cold and wind and rain don’t know
They only seem to come and go away
Times are hard when things have got no meaning
I’ve found a key upon the floor
Maybe you and I will not believe in the things we find
Behind the door
So what’s the matter with you?
Sing me something new
Don’t you know the cold and wind and rain don’t know
They only seem to come and go away
Stand by me, nobody knows the way it’s gonna be
Stand by me, nobody knows the way it’s gonna be
Stand by me, nobody knows, yeah nobody knows the way it’s gonna be
If you’re leaving will you take me with you
I’m tired of talking on my phone
There is one thing I can never give you
My heart will never be your home
So what’s the matter with you?
Sing me something new
Don’t you know the cold and wind and rain don’t know
They only seem to come and go away
Hey, stand by me, nobody knows the way it’s gonna be
Stand by me, nobody knows the way it’s gonna be
Stand by me, nobody knows, yeah nobody knows the way it’s gonna be
——————–
The text message that started it all… “Tara! Let’s do something fun!” That’s what I told him and he suggested a couple of activities and we agreed on one. AA and I were supposed to meet two Fridays ago but it didn’t push through because he had a slight vehicular accident so we had to postpone our meeting. We were supposed to meet again last Friday but my Ate Jovie was spending the night at our house so I had to cancel it again because we had no place to stay. Anyway, my mind was restless and I sent him a text message again saying that I don’t usually admit that I’m weak but I did admit it to myself that time and I’m scared and told him I needed someone to be strong for me. I think that bothered him and told me that if I’m not going to MC’s place on Saturday for poker night then he’ll drop by my place on Sunday night. And he did.
So waht happened? We just TV and was about to go to sleep already when I told him na tara let’s do na that something fun. Haha! What was it? Secret! But I’ve gone up to heaven that night. Haha! But I think I pissed him off… he was waiting for me to tell a story… what’s making me weak and I didn’t. Kinulit ko lang siya ng kinulet and I think naiinis siya.
Monday, I was still bored and suggeted we drink Red Horse that night. He wanted us to go out so we just went to MC’s place and it took me a while before I finally decided to go with him. It was an eventful evening. Sumama kami kay MC when he did his rounds and then we went to the market to buy some stuff for the kiosks and then we bought beer. After dinner, inuman na! There was MC, AA, Alex, and me then later on we were joined by Jojo and Ver. I was actually having fun listening to their stories but AA had to bring up the kulitan topic and it pissed me off. So I just went out for a smoke and stayed there. Then I decided that I’d just go home. Siempre they locked the gate and wouldn’t give me the key. I even woke up TitoPabs but he told me that the key wasn’t with him and I had to wait for Jome to get home. So I did. Grabe. Galit sa kin si AA. He was almost shouting at me telling me stuff like “Kung matalino ka dapat naisip mo yan blah blah blah.” I’ve never seen him angry before, not at me anyway. Ayun I just cried and thought na sana sina DA and AC na lang kasama ko that night instead of him. Then I told him to just go away and leave me alone, but he didn’t. He just kept talking and talking… sinesermonan ako. When Jome came, I was able to go out the gate but they wouldn’t leave me alone. Nakakatawa, it was like we were playing hide and seek around the neigborhood. They kept following me everywhere I go and AA was following me with his car. Si Jome nga natutulog na sa driveways nung mga hinihintuan kong houses. Then I just decided to go back in front of MC’s house. Then nahiga ako don sa car and just waited for them to get tired and go inside the house and sleep but I didn’t succeed. Then I threw my shoe at AA kse iniinis niya ko and what he did was he threw it inside the garage. Then he took my other shoe and threw it inside the garage too. So now I was barefoot. I tried to run and get my shoes but I wasn’t fast enough so they were able to lock me inside the house again. Kaines!
The next day, I woke up early para I could leave na without them bothering me. Siempre naka-lock pa din yung gate and even Jojo and Ver couldn’t go out. So I just went back to sleep. When I woke up, AA still wouldn’t leave me alone. Kinukulit niya ko sobra. I wanted him to go home so I could go home na din but he wouldn’t leave me talaga. Hanggang sa TitoPabs talked to me na and MC asked me to go with him to the grocery. Kaya ayun inabot na kami ng gabi. I fell asleep again and when I woke up nag-aaya na si AA. This time sumama na ko kse mina-migraine na ko. We were both quiet on our way home. And that’s it.
The next day, Wednesday, nag-text ako sa kanya kse naiinis ako sa kanya. We argued a lot hanggang sa we talked na on the phone. Puro away. Hindi niya ko maintindihan and hindi ko din siya maintindihan. Super iniinis ko siya by saying stuff that doesn’t make sense pero hindi ume-effect. I guess that’s what he means by iniintindi niya ko. Parang no matter what I do or say iintindihin niya even if it doesn’t make sense and even if it makes him angry and even if naiinis na siya. Ang issue niya sa kin is still about the kulitan. And he was really expecting me to tell him what’s wrong. Sabi ko nga let’s do something fun and even though I told him I was scared and weak I didn’t mean that we resolve my issues right there and then. Yun ang hindi niya maintindihan. And then inaaway ko siya about dun sa inuman at MC’s place. Sabi ko everything was okay, I was actually enjoying it and having fun but he had to ruin it by bringin up the kulitan issue in front of Alex. Sabi ko if he has issues with me then ako yung kausapin niya and not other people. He told me “Ibang klase ka talaga Buge. A cut above the rest.” I ended up our conversion by asking him to tell me that he want me out of his life and to erase my name na sa phonebook niya. Masunurin naman and he did tell me what I asked him.
Pero siempre hindi ko pa rin siya matiis. I sent him a text message saying “Let’s start all over again. No more dramas. Let’s do what you’ve said before, let’s treat each other as how we feel towards each other. No pretentions.” And he said he like that then I asked him na lang to help me be ok. Then I asked him to go with me to my friend’s party on September 6, we’ll drink (a lot) and meet new people. Bahala na si Batman!
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